


Tion'ad hukaat'kama?

by CelestialHeavens1



Series: Aliit (Family) [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Allergies, Anakin is an Idiot, Clone Wars, F/M, Force dreams, Found Families, Hearing Voices, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post-Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, Pre-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Qui-Gon taught his line to be Snippy, Sith, Snippy Padawans, Suicide, Visions, What-If, Yoda's Cane, allergic reactions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 19:49:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12489504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialHeavens1/pseuds/CelestialHeavens1
Summary: Hearing voices isn't all it's cracked up to be. Anakin wises up and asks for help.





	1. Chapter 1

Tion'ad hukaat'kama?

"Who's watching your back?"

* * *

Anakin woke up in the medbay of the _Resolute_ , machines beeping too loudly and lights flickering much too brightly. The scent of bacta clung to his skin and he wrinkled his nose. For him, the smell reminded him too much of when he had gotten his prosthetic arm. The same arm that was suspiciously missing now.

He groaned. Everything was a little foggy. He had been awake before, had woken up minutes before they had plunged him into a bacta bath. He had learned his medic's name then. But that seemed like a lifetime ago.

He tried to shift in the bed, but his side felt like it had been set on fire. From the way his chest was uncovered all but the large bandage, he figure that had to be pretty close to the truth. Instantly, Kix was fussing over him, hand on his shoulder to hold him steady while he held the largest needle Anakin had ever seen attached to a syringe.

"Vaabir gar ganar jaro?" Kix spat.

He flinched as the other man brought the needle close. The medic sighed.

"Just relax, General. This is just something to help with the infection."

He winced as the needle broke his skin, feeling like it was pinching the muscle in his arm. It took everything in him to not shift away, knowing from past experience it would only make it hurt worse. He knew it was all in his mind, but he couldn't help seeing _needle_ and thinking _tracker_.

"How bad was it?" The fact that he still needed medicine to treat an infection that the bacta hadn't gotten rid of spoke to how bad it had been.

Kix bowed his head. "Sir, with all due respect, sir, but it was bad enough that if you ever do that again, I'm going to recommend you for planetside leave with mandatory mind healing sessions. Indefinitely."

Anakin grimaced. He definitely was not suicidal, at least he liked to think he wasn't. But his medic clearly thought otherwise, so it must have been worse than what he had thought.

He thought back to it. It was still fuzzy, but his mind was trying to work through it.

"I didn't exactly plan to be right next to that tank when it exploded." The look on Kix's face told him the other man didn't believe him.

And part of him didn't either.

Still, the medic left, so that told him that the clones hadn't placed him on suicide watch. Either they figured that he hadn't tried to kill himself on purpose or that wouldn't be able to stop him if he was going to try again.

As the meds started to kick in, he closed his eyes, trying to meditate back on what had happened to sort everything straight in his mind.

He had been leading the clones into battle. A ground assault. It seemed pretty pointless after a while. There was wave after wave of droids, an endless sea of them. They were using a new kind of tank, one that wasn't easy to destroy. He had managed to get on board and sabotage the engine when the voice is his head had started talking.

 _Why are you fighting so hard for them?_ _No one would care if you were gone._

_No one. Not Padmé, not Obi-Wan._

_Padmé is saddled with a husband she's ashamed of. That's the real reason your relationship has to be kept secret._

_Obi-Wan is stuck with the stain on his record within the Order. You're just a nuisance to him._

_The rest of the Order would definitely be relieved to be rid of you. You're too much of a wild card. The Order doesn't like wild cards._

_You should just stay here. You've always liked droids. They've always liked you. They'd appreciate you much more than the clones do._

He bit his tongue as the too fresh memory resurfaced. He knew that voice of his self-doubt and inner loathing too well now. He knew he shouldn't listen to it. Sometimes, it seemed like it had taken on a life of its own. Sometimes its words made no sense; sometimes it made too much sense. But for a few moments, listening to it had almost seemed like a good idea. Clearly, it wasn't the brightest thing he had ever done.

He knew exactly how close he had gotten. It was only when he remembered Boba and Padme's faces during his last leave that the haze started to clear and he had started to move away. But at that point, it had been too late. He had already set the charge when the voice had begun talking, so the countdown had been next to done before he came back to his senses.

Rex had been beyond angry. Kix had chewed him out as they brought him back aboard the ship, barely conscious. But the familiar jaig eyes helmet was sitting at the table at the end of the bed, which meant Rex wasn't too far. He wasn't too angry.

Kix was right about the mind healer. He needed to talk to someone about this. It was a little ridiculous that any time he started to feel balanced, the voice would start whispering all sort of doubts in ear. Self-sabotage at its worst.

Maybe he should talk to Obi-Wan about it. He already knew about his family, so no risk of an outsider spilling the secret. He knew about what had happened with the Tuskens and had seemed more upset that Anakin was going to turn himself in than what he had done.

_How could you talk to Obi-Wan? He doesn't want you around anymore. He didn't even show up at your knighting ceremony. He couldn't wait to be rid of you._

Anakin concentrated hard on shutting the voice up. It was too loud, too all consuming.

To his amazement, the voice stopped and the room seemed strangely silent without it. A loud buzzing in his ears took over instead, with the worst headache he had ever experienced. It was like someone was repeatedly stabbing a vibroblade into his skull. He opened his eyes to see if Kix was there still. The meds had screwed with his Force perception and his vision and equilibrium, or the room really was spinning and darkening at the same time.

He tried to call out for help, for Kix or Rex or anyone. But it felt like he had swallowed his tongue and his limbs felt so heavy. He could only remember feeling like that once before, when he had been very little and they hadn't had access to good meds, only ones that made him sicker.

At least his mom had been with him for that. She wasn't here now and he was going to be alone when he couldn't breath anymore, when his throat closed up completely. It never occurred to him that Kix might give him a general antibacterial medication, had thought for sure it would have been in his file from the Order. After all, they had done so many tests on him when he had arrived there.

For some reason, he couldn't stop wondering if Padmé knew of any good mind healers before everything else went blissfully blank.

* * *

Anakin woke up in a medical bed. His first thought was instant panic, because he had done this already. Hadn't he? But he couldn't hear the ship's engines or feel the gentle motion he always felt moving through space.

A tube was over his face, over his nose, pushing clean oxygen into them. He breathed in deeply, happy to feel his throat and lungs working properly again. He was back in the Temple and they had hooked him up on a drip that went into his arm. His mechanical arm had been replaced. Whatever medicine was in it was the better kind, the kind that didn't make him sick and didn't make the pain worse.

Obi-Wan was sleeping in a chair across from the bed. His neck and head were at an odd angle. He didn't look like he had slept long, so he didn't want to wake his former master, especially considering the sore note they had left things on.

Anakin took advantage of the quiet to take account of how he felt. He didn't feel the heaviness in his chest when he breathed, nor did he feel like he was frozen. And his time, when he reached for the Force, it was there, readily available.

Obi-Wan made a sad noise, like a wounded animal. Taking pity on him, Anakin reached out and gave him a small mental tap. The other man sat up startled. You could take the soldier from the battlefield, but it didn't seem to make a difference.

"Anakin," he breathed and his voice sounded so relieved and terrified that Anakin couldn't help but think smugly at the voice: _See. He does care._

Obi-Wan wiped his face, straightening up.

"Stars, Anakin! What were you thinking?"

He grimaced. He was hoping he'd conveniently forget about that… somehow. He gave him an awkward grin, which only served to make Obi-Wan glare at him.

"I wasn't," he admitted.

Then he preceded to tell Obi-Wan about the voice. A look of horror grew on his former master's face. The more he said to the other man, the more the voice fought him, told him he was making a mistake in trusting the other man, that he was being stupid.

"Oh Anakin," Obi-Wan sighed when he finished, reaching for him. "I don't think it's your subconscious."

He blinked. Of all the responses he anticipated , he never expected that.

"Then what is it?" Him being crazy, he could have dealt with. Everyone was a little crazy from the war.

"I think someone might be influencing your mind."

"To what end?" He was ashamed of the hysterical edge his voice had taken.

Obi-Wan gave him a fond smile, a little bit sad and a little bit amused. "You know very well you are more powerful than anyone at the Temple."

He shook his head, denying it. Midichlorians aside, he could never beat Obi-Wan or Master Yoda in a fight. And Dooku had handed him his ass every time they had fought. So he couldn't possibly be more powerful.

The words that came out of Obi-Wan's mouth were painful, held a shock he didn't want, had been denying, but had secretly wounded in the depths of his mind. "I think perhaps the Sith Master has been trying to influence you, so you would be susceptible to turn and be his new apprentice."

He didn't want to hear it, but forced himself to stay calm. Panicking wouldn't help anything, though that was about all he wanted to do.

"How could that be possible?" he asked Obi-Wan and was proud when his voice didn't shake nearly as much as he felt like it should. A Sith Lord has in his mind. A Sith Lord whispering things to him, actions that he had listened to. He felt absolutely sick. With very little warning, he turned and reached for the sick bowl beside the bed and threw up what little was in his stomach. He barely had time to move the oxygen tube from his face before it happened, but the drip was still in his arm tugging painfully. His ribs felt like they were on fire again and that only made everything worse.

Obi-Wan's hand was on his back, like he was a child again. And really, had he ever gotten to be one? If the voice truly was the Sith Master's and Obi-Wan's theory of the Sith trying to turn him was right, they had been trying since the day he had set foot on Coruscant. At nine-years-old, homesick, scared, and lonely, how could he have known as to what such a voice was?

When he lifted his face from the bowl that his friend pulled from under him, he was crying.

"Shh, it's okay," the other man offered, holding him like he had when he had first come to the Temple.

"How can you say that?" he asked, only slightly hysterically. "If you're right, then he's had his eyes on me since the day I was brought here, before I even was accepted in the Temple."

Obi-Wan looked greened at the idea that he had been exposed to it so young.

"We should have..." his old master cut off, and Anakin couldn't help but wonder just what it was they should have done.

* * *

Kix was shamefaced for making such a critical medical error when he and Rex visited while he was waiting for Obi-Wan to return.

"General, I am extremely sorry. I can guarantee an error of this magnitude won't happen again in the future."

He chuckled and Kix looked horrified.

"It never occurred to me that the Jedi hadn't given you my medical file."

"I'm afraid it never occurred to me, sir." No, it wouldn't have. Clone physiology was identical across the board. Boba could receive the same treatment as Rex and be perfectly fine. But the clones hadn't been trained to treat injuries for anyone who wasn't one of them. It made no sense to him, since the few Jedi medics were stretched so thin. There weren't enough medics to cover the entire army.

He had always had an allergy to something in the general antibacterials. His mother had always had a similar reaction, had always taken care to not give them meds that would do more harm than good. But with such limited resources, sometimes it couldn't be helped.

He had always thought himself lucky though. When he had been a child, he had a friend, Nylalita, who had gotten cut on some scraps. Her master hadn't wanted to waste the cost of bandages on her. Anakin had smuggled some to her, but she had needed proper medical care. She had bleed and bleed until she had collapsed and never woke up. He had been so angry that day. It would have cost her master next to nothing to get her treatment, but cost her life to not.

But his master found it more profitable to have his slaves in working order, much to their benefit.

"I'm okay, Kix. You couldn't have known."

"Still, General, it shouldn't have happened."

Rex snorted. "Here he was ranting about you being suicidal and he nearly helps you off yourself." He paused, then tacked on, "Sir."

Anakin couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

* * *

Later that day, Obi-Wan marched back in, looking more determined than he had when he had left.

"I've gotten some leave time for you to recover on Coruscant."

Anakin frowned. "You told the Council then?" If the Council knew, he would be expelled or jailed or worse. He had been listening to a Sith Lord for the last decade and following what they had been saying. Didn't that make him an apprentice or something? But he didn't feel dark, not like he had when he had killed the Tuskens.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I only told them that you got injured and then poisoned and that your medic had recommended that you have some time off, because you nearly got yourself blown up. As soon as you're released, we'll work on undoing the Sith's hold on your mind."

He nodded.

"Get some rest, padawan," the older man said fondly, ruffling his hair. Anakin tried to dodge it, but as bad as he was feeling, he could hardly move. Staying in the Temple wouldn't be so bad and maybe soon he could see Padmé and Boba.

* * *

It was late in the third day before he was released from the Healer's wing, but was warned to not leave the Temple, to return to his and Obi-Wan's shared apartments and stay there.

So of course he was surprised when his master arrived with the controls to a speeder in his hand and a robe for him to wear.

"I thought you might be more comfortable here," he offered when they landed at 500 Republica.

Anakin smiled at the older man. "Thank you."

He nodded. "I'll be back tomorrow. We can work on figuring everything out then."

Anakin nodded and Obi-Wan turned back towards the speeder. He watched as the other man departed as Padmé stepped out onto the veranda.

"You're home," she sighed, eyes shining with shed tears. "When Obi-Wan told me what happened…" she cut herself off, overcome for a moment. "I was so worried."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, embracing his wife. He savored the moment. It wasn't all that long since he'd been out in the field, but who knew when he'd get to see her again. It figured that Obi-Wan would have told her what happened.

"Come on. Let's go inside."

Boba was sitting on the couch. He was pretending to work on school work, but was actually watching them. When they entered, he muttered dryly, "Su cuy'gar."

Anakin raised a brow at his son. He definitely needed to learn Mandalorian, but he was prioritizing it for after he got the Sith Lord out of his head.

"Hello to you too," he said back, ruffling the kid's hair. Boba glared at him.

"You made Padmé worried. Mir'osik."

"Boba!" Padmé scolded. He cast a glance at his wife. "It's a curse word. I can't remember which one though. He uses so many. I think it's like idiot, but stronger," she translated.

"Ah." He shrugged. "He's not entirely wrong." He nudged the boy's feet of the couch, sitting down on the end of it. Boba glared harder and moved, his face a mask of nothing but anger.

"Kaysh mirsh solus," he muttered to Padmé, but from the looks the kid kept giving him, he was clearly talking about him. "Di'kut."

"That one I recognize," Anakin muttered to his wife. "Kix said it enough times at me that for a while I was thinking that was my name." He gave Boba a small smile. "But it's not."

"Nar'sheb."

Padmé rubbed her temples, clearly trying to fight the headache. Being a single parent had to be hard on her.

"Go to your room for a bit. There's something I want to talk to Padmé about."

Boba wasn't thrilled and he made that clear by making a production of gathering his data pads and marching towards his room, slamming the door behind him.

"Oh my, how rude!" Threepio exclaimed as he entered the room. "Mistress Padmé, is there anything I might get for you? Master Anakin! You're home. How delightful!"

He smiled slightly. "We're fine, Threepio," his wife answered. "Thank you."

The droid let out a loud mechanical huff and turned back towards the kitchen, muttering all the way.

"What's wrong?" she asked gently, but he knew she meant what was wrong beside him injuries. He sighed and started to explain. He watched her go wide eyed and pale and when he finished, she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder. "And don't you dare try to tell me it's alright," she spat as he lifted his hand to stroke her hair.

But he didn't open his mouth to try to tell her everything was fine. He had promised he wouldn't lie to her and it was a promise he wanted to keep.

* * *

Later, after he had gotten his wife to calm down, Anakin headed into Boba's room. He seemed to have something against sitting on furniture like a normal being and instead was laying on the bed with his feet on the wall.

Boba didn't bother to acknowledge his presence, so he knocked, but the kid was doing an admirable job of staring at his data pad. Apparently, they had reached the stage where he was actively ignored him then.

"Boba," he said, softly, gently, like Obi-Wan used to when he had been particularly stubborn.

The boy didn't so much as look in his direction. He sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry for worrying you."

Nothing. Not even a glare. Stars, how had Obi-Wan made dealing with him as a child look so easy?

"I know it's hard, but you can't go around expressing your feelings in a string of curses and nothing else."

Boba glared, but otherwise didn't speak. That was progress at least.

"When I first got here, I was terrified all the time. After the awe of the planet wore off, all I could do was count the days until I was knighted so I could go home and free my mother. I shut people out and was not a very pleasant person to be around most of the time."

"I'm not unpleasant to be around," Boba muttered angrily, "Just ask Teckla."

Anakin chuckled. "Is that why you won't look at me except to glare?"

Boba glared again, only proving his point. "You said you'd come back safely. You promised."

He couldn't actually remember ever saying something like that. He knew better to promise such a thing during a war. But Boba clearly thought he had, so something must have been said during their goodbyes.

 _"K'oyacyi,"_ Boba had called and he had waved in return. Whatever that was, he must have taken it as a promise that he'd return in one piece. Which he mostly was.

"I'm a soldier, Boba. I can hardly promise that."

"Ogir nuarra acyk verd bal jareor," Boba spat back. "And you were being jareor."

Jareor. Kix had used a version of the word, jaro at him. Rex had used the actual word once, spat it at him with such vehemence. Rex never spoke a word against his officers, so he knew that the other man had been angry. He had immediately clammed up after that, until Anakin had ordered that he tell him what it meant. Suicidal.

He pulled his son close to him, running his fingers through the silky hair. The boy struggled at first, but soon settled against him. "I'm not suicidal, Boba," he reassured the boy. "I'm going to always do my best to come back to you and Padmé, but I'm never going to ask my men to do something that I wouldn't do myself. But I'm not suicidal."

The boy sniffled slightly. "You can't die too," Boba muttered, his hands gripping his tunic.

Anakin closed his eyes, trying to not think about how much of an idiot he had been. Of course Boba had been worried. It was the same way he had felt as a child when his mother would get sent to do dangerous things for Watto, including the time he sent her to trade with the Jawas for some parts and he had been left on his own in the city for nearly a week. He had been so cruel to her when she had returned, but only because he had been so terrified he would never see her again.

He kissed the crown of his son's head and held him tight, not letting go until Padmé fetched them for dinner.

* * *

Translations

Vaabir gar ganar jaro? - Do you have a death wish?

Su cuy'gar! - "Hello!"; literally: "So you're still alive."

Mir'osik - something undesirable where your brains ought to be, i.e. "Shit for brains"

Kaysh mirsh solus - "He's an idiot"; literally: "His brain cells are lonely.

Di'kut - idiot, useless - lit. Someone who forgets to put their pants on

Nar'sheb - shove it, but stronger

Jareor - recklessly risk your life, act suicidally, foolish, not brave

Jaro - death wish, insane act of reckless stupidity

Ogir nuarra acyk verd bal jareor - There's a difference between being a soldier and being suicidal


	2. Chapter 2

Obi-Wan showed up bright and early the next day. Anakin had barely slept, tossing and turning most of the night. He had already downed to cups of caf before he had even started on breakfast. Padmé was slowly sipping a cup of caf, the extra strong stuff that she drank out of the tiny fragile cups, delicately painted with elaborate designs, while he and Boba were eating panna cakes. Dormé showed him in and he bowed to his wife.

 

“I beg your pardon, my Lady,” Obi-Wan said charmingly to Padmé. Jealousy stirred in his gut, but he fought it back because it made no sense. Neither his master nor his wife like each other like that. “I was hoping we might use one of your rooms. Anakin filled you in, I assume.”

 

“Yes, of course. You can use my study.”

 

His master nodded. Anakin stood, kissing his wife and ignoring Boba’s protests. He ruffled the kid’s hair as he passed him, leading the other man towards the room off the dining room. He closed the doors behind them and locked them to ensure his son wouldn’t try to spy on them.

 

“Shall we begin?”

 

Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan sat on the floor and Anakin mimicked his motions, sitting crosslegged from him like he was a small child. Obi-Wan offered his hands and he took them in his. He wasn’t entirely sure how this would go, but Obi-Wan had seemed confident that he could guide Anakin to undo a Force Bond within his own mind.

 

“What we’re going to do is mediate,” his master spoke, “Focus on the darkness and the source of that darkness until you find where the bond starts. You know what our bond feels like. It might feel similar, but much darker.”

 

Anakin swallowed hard, closing his eyes and focusing. He could feel his bond with Obi-Wan, warm and bright, but clouded slightly, like something or someone didn’t want them too connected. The bonds he shared with Padmé and Boba were there as well, but being that they weren’t Force sensitive, they weren’t as strong.

 

And there, like a gapping hole farther back, hidden beneath the lesser bonds he shared with various Jedi, old training bonds and such, was something so cold and dark that he almost had to pull himself out to get a blanket. It felt like Obi-Wan’s bond; his master was right about that. The power behind it made him ill.

 

He felt Obi-Wan enter his mind and he pulled back slightly, leading the other man to where the dark bond was.

 

_“It’ll hurt when the bond snaps,”_ Obi-Wan warned mentally.

 

He nodded. That made sense. To forcibly break a bond, it would have to be. It wasn’t like they were mutually severing a training bond. 

 

Still, he wasn’t prepared for the pain he felt tear through him. It compared to nothing he had ever felt before. Like fire ripping into his skin, like poison in his blood, claws in his brain. The first wave hit him physically, knocking him back. The Sith was fighting to stay in his mind at all costs.

 

The next wave would have been less painful if Obi-Wan had simply stuck his hand in his chest and ignited his lightsaber. It felt like his organs were liquifying, the air was smoke and ash. Acid clung to his skin and energy seared his face.

 

He shrieked until his throat was raw. He didn’t know if it was just in his head or if it was out loud. All he knew was it hurt to scream, but it hurt worse to stop.

 

And then suddenly he felt very light. It was almost peaceful, warm and bright.

 

The woman’s hand touching his face was rough, calloused but familiar. He closed his eyes to preserve the feeling. 

 

_“Ani,”_ she murmured softly, “ _Ani_.” He opened his eyes.

 

There was no blood. She wasn’t in pain. She was whole again. Glowing softly, she look ethereal, less human than she had in life.

 

“Mom?” he whispered, tears in his eyes. She had died in his arms. She couldn’t be here.

 

Still, Shmi Skywalker reached out to him and pulled him into her arms. She felt real as she held him.

 

_“I’m so proud of you, Ani.”_

 

“How?” he asked, voice cracking. “I keep messing up. I let a Sith Lord into my head. I’ve listened to what he’s said. I should have stayed with you on Tatooine. You’d be alive and I wouldn’t have done-”

 

“ _Shh Ani. You need to forgive yourself for the things you’ve done and let go. Nothing good will come from dwelling on the past, you know that.”_

 

“I keep failing you.”

 

“ _You’ve never failed me.”_ She stroked the hair from his face. _“I have to go. Things are changing. You’ve changed them.”_

 

“Things? What things?”

 

She smiled fondly at him, but didn’t answer. She only pressed her lips to his forehead. 

 

_“I love you, my son.”_ She gently pressed him back, so that he was back where he started. “ _Now wake up, Ani.”_

* * *

“It was worse than I thought,” Obi-Wan muttered as he pulled back from Anakin’s mind. Padmé swallowed hard. She didn’t like the sound of that.

 

She had come in the room when she had heard her husband screaming in excruciating pain. Boba had been on her heals into the room, but both had stopped when they saw Anakin unconscious on the ground, blood on his face from his nose.

 

“Worse how?”

 

Obi-Wan didn’t immediately answer, which made her imagine it was worse. “There was a Force bond between him and the Sith Lord. One that has possibly existed longer than Anakin and I’s bond.”

 

She felt like the floor had been pulled from under her, like the room was spinning around her and she in an opposite direction. Her mouth felt dry. “What? How is that even possible?”

 

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I don’t really know.”

 

They were quiet for a long while, then the three of them and Dormé helped move her husband into their bedroom. He hadn’t woken up. She was worried. Obi-Wan was not. She didn’t know if that made it better or worse.

 

“He’s going to be fine,” Boba said, more to himself than her as he joined her on the couch. Obi-Wan had gone to mediate in the bedroom to keep an eye on Anakin. According to him, Anakin would be extremely vulnerable at this time. If the Sith Lord felt the bond break, he might be in danger.

 

But she didn’t want to think about that, so she had sat down on the couch and had thrown on a mindless holodrama when she really should have been working on the Clone’s Rights Bill that was being proposed, the one that didn’t give the clones any rights besides acknowledging they were living, breathing beings. But even that was a fight. In the eyes of the law, her son was not a person and she hated that.

 

“Of course he’s going to be fine,” she replied mindlessly, reaching for the boy to stroke his hair.

 

But she lost track of time waiting for him to wake up and prove he was fine.

* * *

Anakin jerked upright in his own bed in his wife’s apartment. The events of the past week could have been a nightmare, if not for the aching headache, the general bad feeling he had, and his master sitting in the chair opposite the bed.

 

Obi-Wan’s eyes blinked opened and he looked at him, face full of concern.

 

“How do you feel?”

 

He wouldn’t say fine. He wasn’t fine, was as far from fine as one could get. He felt like he’d been hit over the head, like someone had been tearing at his soul. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Then there was the little fact that he had been in the office when he’d started mediating and was waking up in his bed instead.

 

“Better.”

 

And he did feel better. He felt almost peaceful now.

 

“So it worked?” He asked Obi-Wan.

 

“Yes,” his master said, but he noted that the man looked pale and drawn. 

 

“What is it?” Obi-Wan shook his head. He seemed upset, afraid even. “Please tell me.”

 

The other man let out a long sigh. “The bond you had with the Sith Lord was perhaps older than your bond with me.” Anakin paled at the implications of that. “It was strong though, as if it was with someone on Coruscant. Someone you’ve been in contact with this entire time.”

 

Anakin shook his head. “That a really short list of people. You, Master Yoda, Master Windu, Master Mundi, and the Chancellor. And I don’t like the possibility of any of them being Sith Lords.” 

 

“Don’t forget Jar-Jar Binks. I know he kept in contact with you through you padawancy,” he said dryly. Obi-Wan sighed. “No, that’s definitely not a comforting list.” He pinched his nose. “There’s no chance you’re forgetting anyone?”

 

Anakin shook his head again. “I’ve been racking my brain for days. That’s everyone I’ve met since coming to Coruscant that I’ve kept in touch with.” He gave his master a smile. “But I know I can eliminate you from that list.”

 

“Thank you ever so much.” His former master closed his eyes, but he didn’t look any more at peace from his answers. “Perhaps we’ll never know then.”

 

“No.” His clenched his jaw, unhappy with what he was going to say next. “We can find them. We will find them.”

 

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I won’t put you at risk like that. They were in your head for ten years. We need to firm up your shields so they can’t get back in.”

 

Anakin sighed. He knew Obi-Wan was right, but he hated this. He hated that he was treating him like a child.

 

As if knowing where his mind was going, Obi-Wan reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it.

 

“I’m not saying this because I’m doubting your abilities. I’m saying this because I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. That bond put your life at risk, as you so clearly pointed out to me the other day. Now you want to actively hunt a Sith Lord.”

 

He wasn’t proud of the fact that it took him a few moments to realize the family Obi-Wan was talking about wasn’t the Order, but rather him. He glanced up at the other man and squeezed the hand that was on his shoulder in his.

 

“I hope it’s Master Windu,” he grumbled as he stood up from the bed, “He’s never liked me.”

 

“Then I very much doubt he’d make you his apprentice if he was the Sith Lord,” Obi-Wan replied dryly.

* * *

 

“So is it gone?” Padmé asked anxiously when they exited the bedroom.

 

“It’s gone,” Anakin soothed her, kissing her cheek and stroking her back. “He won’t be able to get to me again, whoever he was.”

 

“I thought no one was supposed to get in a Jedi’s mind,” Boba spoke from where he was dangling over the back of the couch. “Not if they didn’t want them there.”

 

Anakin crossed his arms as he faced the boy. “Yes, but I was very young when the Sith got into mine, so he was under my shields already when I grew up.”

 

Boba made a sound. “Is that why you were bleeding and screaming like a Kaminoan shriek-whale?”

 

“I was not,” he started defensively, before he glanced at Padmé and Obi-Wan, “Was I?”

 

“Oh no, much more like a manly holler,” his master spoke evenly, a slight smile on his face. He was glad at least one of them were enjoying themselves.

 

Padmé shook her head. “Well, I say we eat some dinner, since you were out for most of the day.”

 

They all nodded their heads in agreement. For the first time in a long time, he actually felt like he had an appetite and there was nothing floating around that shouldn’t been, no stray thoughts sabotaging his relationships. 

 

For the first time in a long time, as his family gathered around the dinner table, he was happy.


	3. Epilogue

 

"I've been thinking of taking on a new padawan," he told Master Yoda as they watched the Initiates practicing together. "I was talking to Anakin about it before he left. He's settling into being a knight and I think it's time."

Anakin had gone ahead to Christophosis to aid Senator Organa and the relief effort there. He would be following as soon as the new stealth ship was finished.

He was using the word 'talking' very loosely. Their conversation went more along the lines of he had been bouncing the idea off Anakin while they had been with Boba. His former padawan had laughed, finding the whole idea of 'bringing a youngling to battle' amusing. Boba had asked if he'd take him on as a padawan, obviously enamored at the idea of getting brought into battle, if for no other reason than to watch over Anakin.

"Hmm. A blessing our padawans are. Teach us much about ourselves, they do." But he didn't offer any more than that. "Different, young Skywalker has been," Yoda said instead. "Changed, something has."

"I'm not entirely sure what you mean, master," Obi-Wan lied. Yoda narrowed his eyes, but otherwise didn't say anything.

He did, in fact, know what Yoda was referring to. Anakin was happier, lighter, settled. He finally seemed like a Jedi.

"Grown up, he has."

"Perhaps some." Or a lot. Being a father had been good for his padawan, even if it was in secret.

"A padawan, he needs." Obi-Wan opened his mouth to tell the diminutive master that the last thing Anakin needed was another life to be responsible for when he stopped. He saw how his former student acted around his son. Perhaps a life he was responsible for on the battlefield was exactly what he needed.

"And I suppose you have someone in mind."

Yoda shifted on his cane, looking as innocent as a youngling caught in the Temple's kitchens after hours. "Think on it, I will." The old master looked up at him coyly.

Obi-Wan wanted to laugh. The older Jedi liked to meddle, just as he had for him and Qui-Gon.

"In the meantime, how about you think about a padawan for me and send them on to join me. Maybe you'll have found someone for Anakin by that point, and can send them along together."

A hard smack on his shins was followed by a "hmph." "Impertinent your master raised you."

Obi-Wan laughed and tried to dodge the cane again. The last thing he wanted was to return to the battle field with bruised shins.

His comm beeped with the message that the stealth ship was ready. He bowed and headed off. It was time to rejoin his former padawan.

* * *

Two weeks of battle later, weary and ready for the fight to be over, Obi-Wan had forgotten about most of the conversation with Master Yoda. Though the Togruta girl showed some promise, he didn't see how the two of them could make a very good team. Never had Master Yoda's judgement seemed so far off.

Still, he would attempt to make this work. He wasn't nearly as resistant as his master had been.

"My apologies, young one. Time for a proper introduction."

"I'm the new padawan learner," the girl spoke softly, but clearly, "I'm Ahsoka Tano."

"I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi, your new master."

"I'm at your service, Master Kenobi." He got a sinking feeling in his gut at the confused tone she used. "But I'm afraid I've actually been assigned to Master Skywalker." As if there was any question who she was talking about, she pointed at Anakin.

Master Yoda had been meddling then.

Anakin began reacting exactly how he would expect. He shook his head and moved behind him, like he would be a shield for his former padawan against _his_ new padawan. For a father, he wasn't nearly as mature as one would hope and Boba only seemed to take his bad influence in stride.

"What? No, no, no, no. There must be some mistake." He thrust his finger accusingly in his direction, "He's the one who wanted the padawan."

"No," the girl spoke and Obi-Wan had to fight to hold in the laugh. And Master Yoda called him impertinent. "Master Yoda was very specific. I'm assigned to Anakin Skywalker and he's to supervise my Jedi training."

Anakin sputtered, "But that doesn't make any sense."

Obi-Wan sighed. "We'll have to sort this all out later. It won't be long before those droids figure out a way around our canons."

"I'll check on Rex in the lookout post." Anakin all but turned and ran from the conversation.

"Best take her with you."

He could feel the brooding from his former padawan as he stopped, nowhere near as dark or heavy as it would have been a week before. He was sure he was rolling his eyes. Ahsoka seemed oblivious to Anakin's annoyance and followed.

He couldn't help the smile that broke across his face as Anakin waited for the girl to catch up, as he watched him nudge her towards the lifts to the lookout post. He caught the small smirk on Anakin's face that disappeared as he turned, raised an eye at the man. Obi-Wan laughed as the girl impatiently tugged Anakin towards the lifts.

Master Yoda had known exactly what he was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, this story is at a natural ending point. I may or may not continue to add stories, but in my mind it's officially wrapped up, at least this chapter in the Skywalker-Amidala-Fett family. After all, Ahsoka's still got to get trained, there's still a Sith Lord out there, and Luke and Leia haven't even entered their parents' minds.
> 
> Thank you everyone who's read and reviewed.


End file.
